Do you ever feel like God is
trying to tell you to do something and He just won’t let it go until you have
done it. I have been feeling that a lot lately. I feel like every sermon that I
have heard over the past few weeks has all been related to giving the Lord
glory for what he has done. The Bible is filled with verses about giving
thanksgiving or praise for what He has done, and lately they have been popping
off the page at me. Because of this I have felt convicted lately that I have
not told many people our story about our newest blessing in my family’s
lives…Luke James.
Around 4 years ago I started
to have debilitating pain in my lower abdomen. I went to my doctor and she told
me that I would need to have immediate surgery to have at least one ovary removed
but possibly both. She said that we wouldn’t know until she was in surgery of
what would need to happen. I remember driving straight to my mom’s school and
having a break down in the hallway outside of her classroom. The thought of
never being able to have children was devastating. Later that day my neighbor
came over to tell me that she had made an emergency appointment with her doctor
in Garland and that we needed to get in the car to go there immediately. I went
reluctantly. Lucky for me my neighbor would have never taken no as an answer.
When I went to this doctor he told me a similar diagnosis but promised me that
he wouldn’t under any circumstance take both of my ovaries so that I would have
the hope of children. So within 3 days of that appointment I underwent major
surgery.
Two years later I met Philip
and were married within a year. God placed the desire for children on our
hearts pretty soon after we got married. I knew that it might take us a while
to get pregnant because of my endometriosis but I never imagined the
disappointment I would have every month while waiting. Part of me hoped that
God would show his glory by making us pregnant the first month, since doctors
had said it would be hard for me to get pregnant. That didn’t happen. Then it
felt like everyone I knew was getting pregnant around me except for me. I felt
embarrassed asking people to pray about it with me, so very few people knew
that we were trying. Poor Philip, every month I would have a good cry when it
wouldn’t happen.
Then about 6 months into
trying I went to my best friend’s baby shower. It was me and about 30 of her
closest family members. At the end of the shower my friend’s mom asked me if I
wanted them to pray over me. I secretly longed for that because I was surrounded
in a room by some amazing Christian women. I said I didn’t want to because I
didn’t want to take away any attention from my friend on her special day. They
ignored me and sent me to a bedroom in the house where they anointed me with
oil and prayed over me. To this day that is one of the most special moments in
my life and I will never be able to fully express how grateful I am to them.
But, the next month I still wasn’t pregnant.
A few months later I went for
my annual check up with my doctor and mentioned that we had been trying for a
baby with no success. He told me that I probably would not be able to have
children on my own but we could set up an appointment with an infertility
doctor. I went home to Philip to tell him about the news and at that moment we
decided to rebuke that diagnosis and stand firm that God was going to give us a
baby. One week later I went back to the doctor because we were pregnant! Praise
the Lord. Then the doctor said that we shouldn’t get too excited because he
would not feel good about it until we were 12 weeks along. I couldn’t keep the
secret inside so we told everyone we knew. I wanted as many people as possible
praying with us. We made to 12 weeks with no problems. Then one day at the
doctor they told me that I had a placenta previa. Most people’s move they said,
but mine probably wouldn’t because my placenta was covering my entire cervix. I
had no idea what that was, so I made the mistake of going home and googling it.
Basically it meant that I would need to deliver via c-section because if we
didn’t the baby could die. It also meant that I could start bleeding at any
moment and need to delivery immediately. It also said that there was a chance
of hemorrhaging and dying. All not great news, but we called up our prayer warriors
and decided to stand in faith that my placenta would move. And would you know
that against all doctor’s prediction, my placenta moved within the inch that it
would need to in order to be able to deliver.
The end of the story is that
I not only did not go into labor early but I held that baby for 41 weeks until
we had to go in a get him out. A few weeks after my c-section I went back to my
doctor for a check up. I asked if everything looked ok when they opened me up
and if she saw any signs of endometriosis. She went on to tell me that my
insides were so messed up looking. She said that there was no way I should have
gotten pregnant. On the drive home I cried like a baby because I know that God
placed by hand my baby in womb and kept him safe for that many months. Towards
the end of my pregnancy I use to get emotional thinking that up until delivery,
God was the only one who had every touched my baby, Luke. It was a very surreal
thought that I cherished.
I write all of this to tell
you that we serve a great God. When times are hard and you feel like there is
no way things can be fixed, that is when you are to prove your faith. We claim
to have all of this faith when times are hard, and I believe sometimes God just
wants you to prove it.
Throughout this time
scripture brought comfort to me. I love decorating and I find that decorating
with scriptures and hymns helps me to keep my mind on Him. So here are some of
my favorite pieces of art that use scripture.
www.jonesdesigncompany.com
www.jonesdesigncompany.com
www.jonesdesigncompany.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TexasLovely
http://aimee-weaver.blogspot.com/2011/05/sign-projects.html
http://aimee-weaver.blogspot.com/2011/05/sign-projects.html
